IN THE NAME OF THE MOST INTELLIGENT ...

I really need to share this. Taken from the blogger http://magenta-made.blogspot.com/

Read on and enjoy:

A Conversation for Introduction To Philosophy Students

An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to his Class on the Problem Science has with GOD , the ALMIGHTY. He asked one of his New Students to stand and . . .

Professor : Do you Believe in GOD ?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is GOD Good ?
Student : Sure.
Professor : Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL ?
Student : Yes.
Professor : My Brother died of Cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn't. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent )

Professor : You can't answer, can you ? Let's start again, Young fella. Is GOD Good?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Is Satan good ?
Student : No.
Professor : Where does Satan come from ?
Student : From . . . GOD . . .
Professor : That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn't it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes.
Professor : So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer)

Professor : Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student : Yes, Sir.
Professor : So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer)

Professor : Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son ... Have you ever seen GOD?
Student : No, Sir.

Professor : Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?
Student : No , Sir.

Professor : Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD , smelt your GOD ? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?
Student : No, Sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Professor : Yet you still believe in HIM?
Student : Yes.

Professor : According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.
Professor : Yes, faith. And that is the problem science has.

Student asks and professor answers

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Professor : Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as cold?
Professor : Yes.
Student : No, Sir. There isn't ..

(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events )

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, megaHeat, white Heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, Sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the Lecture Theatre)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Professor : Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student : You're wrong again, Sir. Darkness is the absence of something.You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light .. but if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness,isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it is, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?

Professor : So what is the point you are making, Young Man ?
Student : Sir, my point is your Philosophical premise is flawed.
Professor : Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor : If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, Sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, Sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar )

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?

(The class broke out into laughter)

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? ... No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, Science says that you have no brain, Sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, Sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable)

Professor : I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Student : That is it Sir ... exactly ! The link between MAN & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.


That student was Albert Einstein.

THANK YOU ...

I thank the Al-Mighty for releasing me from a burden that I may not be able to carry .. for the the second time.

It is this. I had a scare last week, a scare that no woman wants to face - breast cancer. And it so happens that this is the second time I had this scare. The first time was a week before Hari Raya last year. Luckily, it is just a liquified-cyst as they called it. Just a syringe with fine needle is required. I had to go through the whole process - mammogram and ultrasound. Very costly too .. but thats not the point.

And last week, felt pain and there's a small zit-like growth and it broke within 4 days. Not wanting to put in further gorry details, I did what I need to do, and for the second time I face the White Cloak Shaman. Today is the result .. I'm free - sigh - relieved. But, the good shaman also said .. you are in the border of diabetes, take care. yikes .. not so good nor so bad news.

I shall take more more more care from now on. This weak yet strong and intricately designed anatomy needs it. An office colleague provide good information on natural herbs that would help me - lemongrass tea (teh serai - used by Israelians, serious no joke) and also ginger (more for ovarian cancer actually).

I may not have the darn cancer .. but hey .. twice a scare is not to be taken lightly. I definitely do not want a third-scare which may prove to be positive instead (in medical terms .. positive results means that the patient is to be diagnosed suffering from etc. etc.)

So natural herbs and spices found abundance in this archipelago .. holds the best medicinal properties known to mankind .. though the secrets has been lost for almost 500 years now (since 1400, the circa of Malacca Empire) ... it seems to emerge again, but at all the wrong places.

We asian should not only take pride in the treasures we have .. but we need now take ownership to it .. belajar kaji kaji dan kaji ...

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1410575/a_natural_herbal_remedy_for_cancer.html?cat=68

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2003/10/031029064357.htm

WAITING IN ANTICIPATION ...

There is something I wish to write .. to share .. but it can wait .. a little while longer.

We enter life through the window of birth, dance through the path of living and we shall exit this life journey through the door of death. Life is meaningless without purpose .. and to date I am clearly happy to state I know mine (a bit though .. :D ) .. believing is everything.

As in Malay proverb .. Malukut Di Tepi Gantang .. even if I am just a malukut di tepi gantang .. I make sure I'll be the most chirpiest, happiest, profoundly noticeable malukut no one have ever known ... the most coool malukut .. I shall be .. hehehe .. happeeniiiinnng ....

Cheerio .. and the clock is ticking .. :)

DE PROGRAMME

Day 1

Ehem (clearing throat for a serious info sharing ... seriously)

At 9:00 am as planned, the second top management man came to officiate the program. [but before that .. went through a panic stricken moment becoz the OHP is not thereeee, no one informed me and late findings, the hotel provides at a fee of RM600 - argh leeches - but luckily Dr. V has one for contigency moments like this >mental note .. nothing comes in complete perfect-full package .. sounds like any human relations ... heehee]

The ice-breaking session went through great .. participation was 111% .. every one warms up but I was sweating as if I've been running for 10km not stop .. in my mind .. ok what else can go wrong ... By noon, every body is in fire-up motion ... enjoying their lunch ..

Afternoon session .. move them from a big room to a smaller room, went through well, no complaints too .. and my CAs are looking forward for tomorrow ...

Now I can breath .. aaarrrggghhh .. run home (drive lah .. I don't have rocket-powered feet), packed the bag, to sleep at the hotel for the next 2 days .... reached hotel, unpacked ... arrrrgggghhhhh ... I forgot the most basic essentials of essentials to complete a full clothing ...


arrrgghhh .. i forgot to bring my jilbab pinlah .. what else ...


Day 2

Fresh morning .. complimentary breakfast. Its Pantai Timur promotion, so a wee bit slightly heavy (sigh .. there goes my diet). Like Dr. V said .. a perfect diet is a C-food diet .. got it ... yes? no? don't get it ...

See-Food Diet = See Food Die-die must eat lah ... :P

Another good session day .. and my CAs are getting more 'active' in contributing jargons and innuendos and not-so innocent jokes .. chet .. shouldn't be surprise .. 70% of them above 35 years old, definitely not shy-shy lah .. furthermore they are amongst friends .. poor us 6 bulliable gals, red-ears for sure .. but of coz its only day 2, we hide our fangs and nails .. we purr before we roar.

Oo .. before I forgot, invited Nina & Hazni for traditional massage. Not me doing the massage-lah. There is the massage boutique in the hotel. So they came to enjoy them. I only book the session for them and later we had dinner at Semua House. Before that we went to a place near Dang Wangi .. happening area, forgot the name. Happy hours not for me anymore ... hehehe

Notes : probably I would consider massage-therapy as point of income when nearing retirement age .. Nina vouched I could be a good traditional masseuse .. weh .. dream on .. for ladies only :P


Day 3

CAs building expectations. building ideas. getting tooo creative. Funny lot but future programmes will be benchmarked on them :) ... sooo adorable these pakciks .

Arrgh ..what!! .. I don't need pakciks to act as my cupid, I can do well on my own .. bow and arrow in my hands, I just don't find the urgency to point and shoot yet .. arrrggghhh .. I am definitely not going to fulfill anybody's personal 'available' quota either ...

The session for today ends well .. all fire-up .. creative and innovative in presenting a quick change plan .. sayang depa ...

;) my activity tonite .. helllooooo .. Cik Nah .. jom dinner. Fuyooo .. two ladies sped to Kg Baru famous eatery area .. and actually had a good meal and chit chat on malay history ... :P Cik Nah, I am not the expert .. but I am sure I sound convincing don't you think and I love those kain tudung. Now where to find a matching purple kurung .. yikes .. :p

Day 4

Auld lang syne .. its so hard to say goodbye. Feeling so melancholic, dramatic, sentimental when at the end of the day .. one of the seniors amongst the state managers made this statement; "we appreciate what you've done and we will support everything you do".

It makes all the pain of planning and organising this programme worth every single headache and sleepless night .. so what if the boss appraisal rate last year is below satisfactory level. The rate is not going to be taken as measurement in the world after .. its in the faith that rewards will come in a different form .. never felt so appreciated like this .. am in cloud nine.

Happily go to car park .. WHAT!! .. Car won't start .. panicked for 3 seconds .. cool, cool, first put bags into the car. Chin up high .. go back to lobby (hmm .. I could ask help from cute concierge guy) .. but one of the program pakcik saw me. Why are you still here?? (sob story came-out, and and the back of my mind -definitely missed opportunity to talk to cute guy) ... so the pakciks help push and jump start car ..

Drive safely home .. car problem, think later. Mind racing with plans .. tomorrow morning go to office, do quick report, present to boss, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

I had the biggest smile stuck on my face till i went to sleep that night.

MONDAY .. THE D-DAY

Omigosh - omigosh - omigosh .. am restraining excitement and panic.

The programme I've been planning with sweat, tears and sleepless nights (plus horrendous nightmares), will take place Monday to Thursday next week.

I hope it will spread and inculcate change amongst my fellow work citizen. Just one more tasks to complete, speech for the top brass.

Good luck to me. Good luck to all.

WHAT A ZOMBIFIED MORNING

It was almost 2.00 am, 19 May 2009 .. and darn it, I can't sleep :( [no it was not my insomnia .. i actually had a good deep sleep].

Shouting voices originated from unhappy couple living in next building, a good hundred yards away, basically jolted me awake ... darn! darn! darn!

So what's the spontaneous thing to do ... hands reach out to handphone, a quick flick of the fingers and !yikes! the sms were sent out. Sorry aaa!!! I forgot .. it is 2.00am not 2.00pm. But I was surprised to get a return reply .. though short and brisk. Sorry again bro .. didn't mean to disturb you .. ;)

So, now that I can't chat / sms .... decided to finish my presentation slides due by noon the same day. I have been working on this presentation since January. The challenge is to make the slides simple, argument believable and budget request that would not create a big hole in the company's account vault (or make bosses faint on their feet, whichever is sooner).

I basically ran out of ideas and almost dozed off. Suddenly, I thought I heard my boss voice,"75% accuracy point" ... whoaa, my eyes and otak reacted overtime ...

Aaaarrrggghhh!! It is 3 am and my slides is still in page 6 for the last 30 minutes ... omigosh .. help! help! help! ..I paced my room floor like an injured panther .. basically my tired brain went totally blurry .... Suddenly, an idea came and I finally add the pages ...

Somehow, somewhere between page 20 and 21 .. I fell asleep again .. but oh boy, I was jolted back into the living world when a skeleton in a bag moved softly and call out my name .. I actually woke up from my nightmare half screaming my ummi's name ... hehehe ...

Thats how bad the slides affected me .. sigh .. but finished my work I did .. at darn 4.20am .. and more darn darn darn .. it will be harder to sleep now, but 6am, awake I did.

Scenario in the office, at exactly 10 am, presentation was made by zombified me. Lo and behold, the presentation was accepted (my jaw actually dropped wide with surprise), with my boss saying, this is definitely more than 75% expected [huuu .. by this time, I'm in cloud 9]

I am just so happy with a thought of I am being helped by invisible hands ....

AND I SERVE ...

I am please to announce that I am now part of this humanitarian NGO under non-medical category. Linda-Ijam, I finally did it.


I've always wished for ways to help heal others whom needs it. I've received so much kindness from a lot of people, I believe its time to return the favour .. although maybe in a slightly different way ...

Right now I am waiting to undergo the Volunteer Induction Programme (VIP). When the time comes, I will definitely share them in this space.

And so my good samaritan frenz, any time you wish to help provide for our unfortunate brothers and sisters around the world .. you know who to call ....

A smile to whisk the pain away, for I am the master of smiles and laughter, I am your very own backyard clown .. serve to make you smile always ..



Cheerio!!

SIGH ....

It was a fantastic sunday especially the companies I was with. Surrounded by beautiful hearts and minds .. and if you are reading this .. yes, it means you .. definitively .. :P

Anyway, we watched Angels & Demons. Oh yes, the prequel of the famous Da Vinci Code .. yes Dan Brown .. and as always dark, vengeful, mysterious, almost mystic and > lo and behold, the revelation since the creation of man > nothing is more darker than the heart of an ambitious and selfish man ..

I am not going to give any summary of the movie, you can either watch the trailer, read the reviews or go watch it yaself (and only buy original DVD if you can afford it .. kuang kuang kuang).

On technicality, Tom Hanks (encore, clap, clap, clap) as always, superb performance, but getting slightly stereotyped - guess you can't be choosy when you reached a certain age (adoi, sendiri terasa, kah kah kah). The rest of them, I say only the assassin seems to stand out. I am very, very, very dissappointed with Ewan - helllooo, are you intimidated by uncle Tommy?? Even Sissy Spacek could act alot tougher than you, boohoo. Ah well, other ladies may disagree .. :P

The story line, once you see this, you read it all. Uncovering the secret code via statues of angels and demons, was not thaaat excitable .. too ezy peezy. Some funny stuff, nice light moments, non memorable though.

But I can't help smiling throughout the 3-houcher movie, for a totally different reason. I do believe the producers and cinematic creators are running out of creative juices to make believe, that science is above all ass .. all else i mean.

It is not about the truth or twisting the truth. Its just a matter of cut and paste facts, scribed with bloody murder and scribbled with drama here and there. One movie delivered to fanatic followers. But the most almost-green-barf-coming-out moment is when reading the angels and demons translation - oh come on!! - 'malaikat dan jin' .. please, genie = jin .. marah kaum kerabat nanti .. kah kah kah

Messages that they try to push is a bit crap-py too .. but hey .. I'm a believer of world-domination-corruption-humanity degradation-conspiracy-via-creative work (which includes movies and yada yada yada). And yet, somehow it aspires me to make a decision to partake on a risky journey (and thats a different story altogether in another space .. :P)

Cheerio .. and people of beautiful hearts and minds .. thanks again for accompanying this little ole lady

QUOTING ANITA,"MALAYSIA WORLD CLASS TOO"

Congratulations All!!

The country just joined the world with its first case on H1N1.

What was the old saying," Hujan emas di negeri orang, hujan batu di negeri sendiri .." what "golden treasure" we've managed to brought back into our society.

Think guys .. think ...

AND THEN 'BABE' SNEEZES ...

Call it by its name .. one of the golden rules in managing change. The 'Flu' originates from the swine and its no fluke. CDC did not even mentioned that it is merry-mix from bird-flu yada .. yada .. yada. Seems commerce is still more important than human lives.

Extracted from Center for Disease Control and Prevention site (http://www.cdc.gov/h1n1flu/)

A New Influenza Virus

Novel influenza A (H1N1) is a new flu virus of swine origin that was first detected in April, 2009. The virus is infecting people and is spreading from person-to-person, sparking a growing outbreak of illness in the United States. An increasing number of cases are being reported internationally as well.

It’s thought that novel influenza A (H1N1) flu spreads in the same way that regular seasonal influenza viruses spread; mainly through the coughs and sneezes of people who are sick with the virus.

It’s uncertain at this time how severe this novel H1N1 outbreak will be in terms of illness and death compared with other influenza viruses. Because this is a new virus, most people will not have immunity to it, and illness may be more severe and widespread as a result. In addition, currently there is no vaccine to protect against this novel H1N1 virus. CDC anticipates that there will be more cases, more hospitalizations and more deaths associated with this new virus in the coming days and weeks.

Novel influenza A (H1N1) activity is now being detected through CDC’s routine influenza surveillance systems and reported weekly in FluView. CDC tracks U.S. influenza activity through multiple systems across five categories. The fact that novel H1N1 activity is now detected through seasonal surveillance systems is an indication that there are higher levels of influenza-like illness in the United States than is normal for this time of year. About half of all influenza viruses being detected are novel H1N1 viruses.

HURRAH FOR COFFEE ...

August 15, 2006
Coffee as a Health Drink? Studies Find Some Benefits
By NICHOLAS BAKALAR

Coffee is not usually thought of as health food, but a number of recent studies suggest that it can be a highly beneficial drink. Researchers have found strong evidence that coffee reduces the risk of several serious ailments, including diabetes, heart disease and cirrhosis of the liver.

Among them is a systematic review of studies published last year in The Journal of the American Medical Association, which concluded that habitual coffee consumption was consistently associated with a lower risk of Type 2 diabetes. Exactly why is not known, but the authors offered several explanations.

Coffee contains antioxidants that help control the cell damage that can contribute to the development of the disease. It is also a source of chlorogenic acid, which has been shown in animal experiments to reduce glucose concentrations.

Caffeine, perhaps coffee’s most famous component, seems to have little to do with it; studies that looked at decaffeinated coffee alone found the same degree of risk reduction.

Larger quantities of coffee seem to be especially helpful in diabetes prevention. In a report that combined statistical data from many studies, researchers found that people who drank four to six cups of coffee a day had a 28 percent reduced risk compared with people who drank two or fewer. Those who drank more than six had a 35 percent risk reduction.

Some studies show that cardiovascular risk also decreases with coffee consumption. Using data on more than 27,000 women ages 55 to 69 in the Iowa Women’s Health Study who were followed for 15 years, Norwegian researchers found that women who drank one to three cups a day reduced their risk of cardiovascular disease by 24 percent compared with those drinking no coffee at all.

But as the quantity increased, the benefit decreased. At more than six cups a day, the risk was not significantly reduced. Still, after controlling for age, smoking and alcohol consumption, women who drank one to five cups a day — caffeinated or decaffeinated — reduced their risk of death from all causes during the study by 15 to 19 percent compared with those who drank none.

The findings, which appeared in May in The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, suggest that antioxidants in coffee may dampen inflammation, reducing the risk of disorders related to it, like cardiovascular disease. Several compounds in coffee may contribute to its antioxidant capacity, including phenols, volatile aroma compounds and oxazoles that are efficiently absorbed.

In another analysis, published in July in the same journal, researchers found that a typical serving of coffee contains more antioxidants than typical servings of grape juice, blueberries, raspberries and oranges.

“We were surprised to learn that coffee quantitatively is the major contributor of antioxidants in the diet both in Norway and in the U.S.A.,” said Rune Blomhoff, the senior author of both studies and a professor of nutrition at the University of Oslo.

These same anti-inflammatory properties may explain why coffee appears to decrease the risk of alcohol-related cirrhosis and liver cancer. This effect was first observed in 1992. Recent studies,published in June in The Archives of Internal Medicine, confirmed the finding.

Still, some experts believe that coffee drinking, and particularly caffeine consumption, can have negative health consequences. A study published in January in The Journal of the American College of Cardiology, for example, suggests that the amount of caffeine in two cups of coffee significantly decreases blood flow to the heart, particularly during exercise at high altitude.
Rob van Dam, a Harvard scientist and the lead author of The Journal of the American Medical Association review, acknowledged that caffeine could increase blood pressure and slightly increase levels of the amino acid homocysteine, possibly raising the risk for heart disease.

“I wouldn’t advise people to increase their consumption of coffee in order to lower their risk of disease,” Dr. van Dam said, “but the evidence is that for most people without specific conditions, coffee is not detrimental to health. If people enjoy drinking it, it’s comforting to know that they don’t have to be afraid of negative health effects.”

MIND BLOCK

Seriously, I am having creative writing mental block for the past 2 months .. huuuuu .. not good for someone whose bread & butter depends very much on it.

No .. don't get me wrong. I am not a copywriter, journalist or author (blogging is not a testimony that one could be one). It just that I can't seem to draw out any creative juices to produce a simple survey report and presentation slides. Something that I've done zillion times with both eyes wide shut and one hand tied to the back.

Too many things to think of .. or pointblank just not focus in it. Especially when you sits 34th level above ground .. facing glass wall/windows .. and able to view traffic jam, beautiful sunsets, gloomy grey clouds and sometimes glimpse of eagles dancing in the sky. Yep .. one can truly focus on work here .. if the right effort is being made .. :P

NEW GADGET

Hooray ... finally little ole me own a square digital MP3 play + FM radio + picture clips + video player + voice recording .. all-in-one .. at a steal .. thank you monsieur Philips and salute Fotokem for making it accessible into my greedy little hands [am a tech-geek-wanna-be]



It is a Philips GoGear digitial MP3 video Player model SA3025 and read some reviews found on the net .. mainly for the price its does perform exceptionally well .. it has its pros and cons .. but hey ... im not complaining. As for me .. the FM radio is a must, voice recording would help me alot in remembering my own daily agenda (memory is failing) .. and mp3 to listen to soothing sounds anytime anywhere. And its black sleek square look is a winner to me ... coz da ca$hing for it is lower than its market price .. lucky ole me ..

Time to groove with music .. hehehe (and no .. that picture is not me .. dream on ... )

CAFE POLITICS 1

Greetings,

Never thought I will actually be writing about this. But Perak is really in 1 big mess. It is truly hilarious, that the reigning Sultan with a glorious legal background is force to take a backseat on this important matter.

What would I think if I am the citizan of Perak???

1) Do I approve the removal of the MB in the first place?
2) Am I dissatisfied with the MB's performance since he took office?
3) Do I really know my right as a legal voter, when all this chaos took place?

I am not much of a politician, but what I read from available newspaper and tabloids that supports both parties, seems like none of the 2 above happens.

What happen was that 3 wakil rakyat decided to switch parties from PKR to BN. Now the question to the citizen of Perak and the 3 wakil rakyat - were they voted because of their personal charisma + the political party they represents or because the party they represent?

Wonder who is really thinking for the sake of the rakyat ... the reigning Sultan? BN? PKR?
In one of the local news site, theres comments from the business society ... no business no money, what will the state be running on, Perak have no oil to sell. It is an industrial-dependant state.

Guess the people really have to fend for themselves. But, they must really know their rights as voters, rightful heir of Perak.

A big question for my little puny brain :P .. a good excuse for a coffee break.

RETURN OF THE COFFEE - ADDICT

its great to be back ...
with tonnes of things to write and share .. as if someone would read ..

its been a silent 3 years .. nope nothing to do with sabbatical rest .. just plain lazy .. apart from I've forgotten I actually have this blog .. kah kah kah ...

i've read other blogs .. everyone is sooooo serious .. i guess some of us are to carry the burden of bearing the worries and solving the issues ..

guess i'm not one of them .. give me coffee, biscuits and ice-cream .. my world is complete ..

:)

aah .. Thursday nite .. tomorrow I will be on sabbatical leave ... I need this break ...

All that needs to be done in the office is finally completed ... next week will be a new beginning (again) .. gonna get my new team lead .. wonder how she's gonna turn out to be .. already hearing news about her kiasu attitude ... reminds me of the song ... "I WILL SURVIVE" .. hmmm ... another round of that I guess ... never seem to see the end of that survival factor ... as long as one is alive .. that will always be one of the fav verb

Tomorrow .. the plan is ... go for marketing with Ummi .. that drive out to hot spring first .. than stop over at the jungle .. trek for 2 hrs maybe .. I need to see cooling waterfall ..my secret hideout (hopefully no tigers find their way there) .. come out .. send abah for friday prayers .. pick-him up ..
go to KLCC .. trained by paul .. go for eye treatment at clarins .. meet kelly .. go home .. meet ariff at 830pm .. go to nina .. collect laundry .. that back home ...

how that for a hectic life .. hehehe ...

Competition

My main weaknesses is ME
My core strength is ME ..
Therefore, I must learn to balance my principle ...

I most hate ME
and I love ME too much
Therefore, I must place myself second to others ...


ME represents perfection
and most imperfection reflects ME
Therefore, I must push myself to be humble ...

My best friend is ME
My worst enemy is ME
Therefore, I must look for guidance ...

I never walk alone ...
because if I walk alone .. I will lose my path ...

So I challenge myself with the best competitor I can find
and this competitor is
ME ....

For I could never be able to walk in ALLAH's earth steadfast in principle,humbled, guided if I don't put the worst of me in front ..

Can't sleep again ...

Darn, its almost 3:00 am .. my brain feels tired .. but my eyes refuse to follow natures automatic response to night time .. darn darn darn ..

I am gonna feel like a zombire tomorrow morning ... *sigh* ...

Missed my fitness session this week .. because I have to finish my working paper ... how I wish people with power are more consistent with their words ...

I really wonder what am I exactly doing with my life ..??

Have I allowed things and events and emotions to pass by me without taking opportunity thats been 'offered' and again blaming things that doesn't happened as 'not-fated' .. urgh .. I still dare not jump into that bandwagon of uncertainties that you will always find when you enter into the 'relationship' path ... nope ... not yet ...

jeeps ... am I such a loser ... news flash .. I AM NOT A LOSER ... not gonna let anything or any one put me down .. muahahahah ... hey I like what I see in the mirror ... with all the imperfection .... because I am a 'beautiful' soul .. because I do not allow myself to sell short with coldness, selfishness and arrogance ... I find there are people whom are good at that .. they feed their ego and self-proclaimed worthiness by 'pointing out and looking down .. slow, unfocus, people like me' .. news flash .. my conscious are 'clean & clear' compared to them whom exalted from others weaknesses ... gosh .. why should I worry myself about their existence .. its either them or me to take that role in life .. and I'm glad its not me ...

Darn .. got to force this eyes to sleep .. eyes sleep .. coz the body and the brain needs it terribly ... eyes please please please sleep

Its a sad day ...

There are days for hellos and goodbyes ... and for the thousandth times in my life I have to say goodbye again ...

Something that never has the chance to begins ends ... whatever ... life goes on ...
and yet why do i am i holding back these tears of mine ...

Some things are better left hidden and unknown ...

a new year .. a new beginning ..???

I wrote this in 2006 .... my lowest point ever ...

I have let a few months passed by .. without adding a single alphabet in this blog ...

Life for the past 6-months has been a nice comfortable ride ... a bump here there ... but no bruises experience this time ...

My parents went for pilgrimage for 42-days ... weeks that I've spent with much thinking done ...

That the day I dread most arrived .. Valentine .. and it washes me with memories and wishful thinking ...

I have got over my lossess ... but I fear the uncertainties of my future ...

I've put aside these for far too long and now there's no more corner to turn to but face the truth ..

This March, I will be 38 years old .. and looking back and the list of achievements and lost opportunities ... waliao ... lost opportunities dominated ...

My mom returned for the Holy Land with so much hopes to a change in me ... and how I so so so wish to be able to fulfill them ...

What are my fear ...

rejection
dissappointment
weak
emotional dependencies
low purchasing power

I feel claustraphobic ... not because I accidentally enter an enclosed walls ...
I feel claustraphobic because of this tight enclosure I felt in my heart ..

Try as I might .. I can't force myself to be chirpy any more ... it felt .. pointless ...

I yearn to feel secure of having someone to lean to ...
I yearn to feel again that comfort feel that I can reach out to someone that one call one's love ...
I yearn to feel safe, to love and be loved ...
Yet I can't trust my own emotions ... fear that it could be misguided or misplaced ...
Because I do feel too delicate now ... to go throught any more dissappointments ...
I am soooo tired .. and sooo insecure ... and so afraid ... and so uncertain ...
I am such a coward ... and I can't see the light at the end of the road to lead me out of this misery ...

All I can do is cry at night and smile during the day ..
And yet I yearn and yearn and yearn ... in fear ....

Somebody ... help me ...